morphine
Today I decided to remove the humerus of my right arm entirely from its socket. Although the situation got a little old for my liking in all of one point eight (1.8) milliseconds (ms), it was novel to see my shoulder take on a whole new shape, and to have the length of my arm extended by an inch and a half. Ultimately, it wasn't worth the effort, since re-seating joints is a needlessly painful process, but on the bright side, it did involve nitrous oxide, which true to its common name can make a person a little bit smiley, a healthy shot of morphine -- from which I'm just coming down; the room is only rotating a little bit now -- and a comforting BK double cheeseburger with fries, which means that I've eaten fast food twice in the last two and a half years (there's a Catholic church nearby complete with confessional). Arm in sling and pills aplenty, the patient is both comfortable and cheerful.
MJ, for getting me to the Accident & Emergencies unit under highly testing conditions and at great pains to yourself, you have my heartfelt thanks.
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Fucking hell, Allie, how did you do that?
And, more to the point, why?
And why'd it have to be your arm? You could have been penning morphine-soaked flights of hallucinatory fancy to challenge all those 19th century hacks that had to rely on dirty unrefined opium! What a missed opportunity.
So as soon as you heal up, please work on dislocating a femur or something.
I hope your arm feels better soon Stairs. Be careful next time!
Hope you feel a bit better mate!
Jams
It doesn't matter how you did it. Damn! You got Morphine! Mmm. Is there anything it can't do?