Ego: August 2003 Archives

When your mind is of a kind that isn't easily phased by many things at all, it can only come as a point of significant irritation to note how easily one is moved by the trivial. You come to expect certain things from the people around you, at least, from those that you count among your friends, and then they act in ways that make you wonder at how it was you came to think of them as dependable in the first place.

It is one thing to assert ones good intentions, but another entirely to act upon them. It hardly seems fair that someone should be dearly prized as reliable among his friends when that same dependability is only reciprocated by some. Or rather, when the offending minority expect consideration equivalent to that of the people who don't repeatedly disappoint you.

It can ultimately be simplified to a matter of tit-for-tat; utterly trivial, but very much the common mechanism by which people interact, whatever the degree to which it plays its part. It can be as minor as someone always turning up late, regular as clockwork, agreeing to things when they haven't even heard, or understood, what you've said, closing a door on you when they think the conversation is over and it isn't; general disregard. My pride is the only thing that you can really fuck with, and mark me, it isn't readily forgotten.