I Eat All the Pies: April 2004 Archives

No, no, nothing supernatural, or for that matter, gay, especially insightful or even fascinating - we certainly don't aim for that here - but excitement... excitement is subjective, so for the fiends who emailed me about it, well...

Remember that cake? Yes? Me too, and now you can enjoy it in the pleasure of your own home provided you can interpret Klingon units of measurement. Oui, my dames and messrs, je te presente:

Ginormous Chocolate Demon Orange Cake, a creation of über harlot, Cathy Moore
NB: Contains neither a chocolate demon nor a demon orange.

8 oz. butter or margarine (yes, yes, wtf is an ounce?)
8 oz. sugar
6 eggs (chicken ideal, duck too rich, for quail, use 32)
~ 2 oz. cocoa powder (this comes from Theobroma cacao)
~ 5 oz. pulverised wheat (Triticum) endosperm (often sold as flour)
~ some baking powder - this is the only iffy ingredient as far as amount goes; I'd suggest three level teaspoons or so, but haven't tried the recipe yet
~ rind of 2 oranges (Citrus sinensis), seville sized (the cultivar, not the city), and their juice
200 g dark chocolate (finally a real quantity), melt in a double boiler and stir into batter. You can eat some of it too.

Either bake one large cake and carry out a transverse dissection, or bake two smaller ones and glue them together with killer icing.

Killer icing

Melt a stupid amount of chocolate (3-400 g), and mash in an equivalent volume of tart, orange marmalade. Very subjective, so adjust as you see fit, then use to glue the layers together, and subsequently to mudpack the outside. No need to rinse off; thicker layers are tastier layers. Oh, and if you hate oranges near your chocolate, omit them - just remember to add a quarter volume of thick cream to your icing or it'll set too hard. And yes, this isn't technically icing; that's what makes it nice.

This cake is fattening and may cause HDL/LDL cholesterol imbalance. There, I am indemnified and can't be sued, lives saved.